I was 23 years old in 2013, finished my degree in English and not a single clue what to do next.
My degree wasn't a first like I hoped but I wasn't just dealing with a degree..
I was dealing with depression and an eating disorder which regrettably became my focus.
For a while I would 'um and ar' about my future, assume I had all of the time in the world and find that I was too scared to ever take the plunge or make any changes when it came to it.
I hadn't spoken to Dan for a few days who still lived in Birmingham and although moving to London was the best decision of my life I still felt empty.
I walked home one summer's evening over Clapham Common Park.
People were still sat on the grass eating ice creams and the sky was turning a deep pink.
People were happy.
I could be happy.
On that particular day it was 'season change' and I had worked 7-7 (I was a visual merchandiser for H&M) I was exhausted and I didn't help myself either..
My eating habits were getting worse and I was living on lettuce, coffee and turned to cigarettes and anime, curled up in bed at any opportunity.
I was too scared to climb 'the blogging ladder' because of the expectations of me and pressure was always something that made me buckle and break down.
At this time Instagram was new and having 2k followers was a massive deal.
I was scared and ran away from it.
I couldn't stand my manager and it was on that evening that I decided to book a one way ticket to Australia.
With only 3k in my bank and only a week's accommodation booked in Melbourne, the day arrived, Dan was joining me and my life had changed forever.
I made it work though.
I got myself a job there.. I worked for the loveliest family who paid me the same as my job in London who I became really fond of.
I started to appreciate myself and my own decisions that I was making.
I actually started to like myself.
I don't this post to be too dark but I felt sick from the thought of actually being someone who wanted to be run over so it didn't look like it was my fault to my family that I had died.
This post is an insight into the reality of peoples lives
This is a post about how it's so important to make changes to something that doesn't feel right
It's so bloody important to invest in yourself, so that everything else can run smoothly.
It's so bloody important to learn to love yourself.
It's so bloody important to enjoy every moment on this earth because you literally only have one chance.
It's so easy to 'get use to things'
- You don't have to just accept it.
I'm obsessed with planning and socialising now!
Going to events on my own, meeting up with friends I haven't met up with person in real life (e.g I went to Berlin to meet a Kimi who I've known for years) I wouldn't even dream of doing these things back in 2013.
Why? Because I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone every single day.
I'm looking after my body. I'm investing in my mind and soul.
I'm making the effort to live life to the full.
This post is to you,
the one who feels stuck in a rut.
You don't have to feel this way and things will change if you let them..
You just have to make that decision.
There is so much out there.. to live.. to see.. to feel.
GET OUT THERE AND DO IT
Life is about living, not existing.
All of these cliches are used for a reason.. It takes time to really realise that too and I'm not going to lie, I would rather be 27 then 23 again but if I could go back I would tell myself to try and change things sooner because time will go by in seconds so if you don't like it? Change it. Change it today!
I promise me you'll love yourself for it!
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