Bloggers have created a brilliant platform for Real people and THEIR voice.. It has given real opportunity to be heard, talk about issues that should be discussed and mental and physical illness is slowly becoming accepted as a part of life! There's definitely room for more progression but we're getting there and it's all thanks to you!
Chances are you've came here because you relate to the title in someway? Glad you've came, even if social anxiety isn't a major part of you life. You either feel nervousness on a extreme or minor scale when it comes to social events/meeting a new friend/job interviews etc which is perfectly normal or you feel extremely anxious, you experience deep fear of the thought and/or you either get panic attacks? You aren't alone. That's the first thing and something I really need you to think about.
This fear or even just nervousiness is limiting your life, do you really want that? Overcome it, address it.. so you aren't bound to limitations.
Here are my top tips.
FACE IT
Ask yourself when you become anxious and you feel it in your stomach, instead of running away from it, typically struggling it off - the first thing I want you to do is ask yourself "What's the worst that can happen?". You'll be surprised once you've answered it that it actually isn't dangerous and realistically you can leave from that situation if you wanted to try it because you have that control.
STOP AVOIDING
When I state this I don't exactly mean face all your anxieties head on. This will cause more stress. Just ease your way in, for example: If it's eating in front of people, find a park bench/sit down at a shopping mall so that people are around but not focusing on you. Going to a blogging event? Meet a new friend before you get there, set a time to leave. These little things will help to make the event less scary!
RECORD YOUR FEELINGS
Say you went to an event and after it realised that in fact it didn't go as bad as you thought; this happens 95 per cent of the time so you should keep a diary - write down how the event actually made you feel. Genuinely speaking I feel that everyone should keep a diary, it's scientifically proven to be good for you! When anxiety appears in your next social event it will be good to remind yourself of how it isn't as scary as you tell yourself! Your confidence will grow each time you attend an event, have an interview, see a new friend - it will become more normal.
KEEP GOING/STOP MAKING EXCUSES
Keep on going with this, it's so important not to go back. Put yourself in situations - keep putting yourself in situations. I promise you it will gradually become easier each time. To stop making excuses is a point I tell myself every single day. It is something a lot of us are guilty for and those excuses are made because we want to avoid going out of our comfort zone. They all add up and limit our life! Whether you talk yourself out of a promotion because of the interview/pressure, a blogger event or meeting an old friend - It's easier to talk yourself out of it. Don't. Just plan and don't let them down. You'll thank yourself.
ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS
If you learn how to praise yourself your confidence will grow faster and you become happier, I'm a firm believer in this. Happiness then encourages you to do more things! It's a win-win! Don't feel silly about mentally praising yourself, I do it a lot and it really does work. Next time you are in a situation where the outcome of your actions were positive; Tell yourself how well you did! If feels good and inside you'll feel more and more pleased with yourself and as a result your confidence will grow little by little. If you dismiss your achievements you aren't believing in yourself and the process will be longer.
LETTING IT BECOME NORMAL/SAY YES
If you adopt an easily available lifestyle to the people around you you will no longer react to social events as if they were a stressful experience. It will become normal and you'll gain new experiences because you will have adopted a YES! person personailty. If you practise with small social experiences (going out with a work friend, even if you're tired or meeting with a cousin for a quick coffee) the bigger ones will be more easier over time!
START TODAY
My last point is my most important to you today. If you've made it this far, thank you and well done because you are at least acknowledging that maybe you do deal with these things on whatever scale. Hopefully in someway you want to try to be more sociable and less scared of simply interacting and being a part of new experiences.
Start today. You don't have to wait until a social event to prepare yourself. I'm constantly seeking to add to my self confidence by simply and actively talking to people for longer periods of times whether that be a taxi man and asking about their day... a sales assistant - ask them for advice on a product, make light hearted humour. You don't have to see them again if it didn't go as well as planned. Try not to focus on what you are saying and generally talk about a product you ARE actually interested in instead of googling it. The more you do this the more you start to talk to people. You can start today, you can even phone a friend or a relative.. After a minute or so the nerves will slowly melt away and you can write about how it made you feel.
Give yourself a break. Don't feel bad or silly for being human! You aren't alone in how you feel and you shouldn't feel ashamed! Admittedly I felt stupid for mentally telling myself Well done Emily! for making a joke after speaking with a sales assistant about coconut oil, I remember it because I smiled after and it felt good. I don't have to ever see her again but everyday I grow more in confidence! I promise you one thing.. If you are bound by limits then you'll only regret it and regret feels just as bad. You could be missing out on memories of a lifetime! I know I've missed out on so many - why add more and more to that pile.
Always remember, nothing in life that's worth having comes easy. Thanks for reading and PLEASE comment or message me on my twitter @emilinalove if you have any questions or feedback, I'd love to hear from you!
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